It's my smolder

 
Back story:
1. I'm a chips and salsa fanatic (as of a few months ago). After my recent miscarriage I thought back and realized that it was a pregnancy craving... well, since I again crave it incessantly I guess I was wrong. I'm a salsa monster.  We ran out of chips yesterday and so I sliced and fried up some corn tortillas so I'd have a vehicle for my mild chunky salsa to make its delicious way to a mandibular paradise. <--- see what I'm working with?  I'm hopeless.

2. My parents gave Matthew a "box of favorites" for his birthday on Wednesday (something they've been doing all year for everyone's birthday- favorite snack, favorite toy, favorite cereal, favorite candy, gift card to their favorite fast food place, gift card to their favorite nice restaurant, etc).  He got a mulit-cereal pack (the little single serving boxes), a set of hot wheels, a box of twinkies, a bag of Doritos, uhhh some other stuff....  honestly I don't remember what else 'cause as soon as he pulled out those Doritos all the peripheral sights and sounds blurred and all I saw was that big red bag begging to be ripped opened and devoured. This was really interesting to me because normally I don't like Doritos, but the Tostito shortage in our house has desperately (and hopefully temporarily) morphed my tastes.  For the last two days I've been sneaking a few here and there to eat with salsa in dark corners. ha ha ha  I'm cracking myself up... but REALLY?  Stealing a 7-yr-old's BIRTHDAY present?  This is getting out of hand. When Matthew would catch me he'd growl "mommmyyyy!" pursing his lips to mask the smile underneath and sporting big wide eyes.

Imagine my surprise when he came up to me this morning with the infamous red bag and held it out to me,

Matt: Mom, you can have the rest of my chips if you want
[Now the big eyes belonged in MY face.]
Me: Whaaaaaaa??? [salivating]

Matt: You know, for chips and salsa

I peered into the open bag in his hands to see the handful of crumbs in the bottom of the bag and looked up at him with a scrutinizing look knowing the only reason he was offering me these chips is because

1. he wanted credit for doing something nice for me

2. he saw that reason 1 would benefit him more than this pile of tiny chip crumbs (this is seriously how the kids thinks)

Matt: It’s your decision [and then he contorted his face to give me a strange look- I was a little confused and what emotion he was trying to portray, but whatever the meaning, the sound of him saying "decision" with his bi-lateral lisp while being all serious and that look on his face was more than my laugher could stand. It exploded.]

Me: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha [regaining my composure] Why did you do that look??

Matt: It’s my smolder.

Me: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha 

Thank you, Tangled.

munch munch